I think I’ve found my dream job, related to my major, incorporating a lot of separate interests, with a company that has a solid foundation but is agile enough to change and take risks, with enormous potential. And I have been AGGRESSIVELY chasing them for pretty much since the last time you heard from me, and I am now playing skype date tag. We cancelled twice, then he made me wait a week while he went on vacation or whatever, and now he’s FINALLY back in the office, and says he’s free early next week. (Meanwhile, I might add, I made a spreadsheet of user data for a handful of their competitors, interacted with the UX learning and social platforms of said competitors, and added a couple sheets to the portfolio sample and suggestion file.)
Anyway, when he said, Monday or Tuesday next week, I immediately thought, “there goes another week of sleep.” Then another person told me, “it’s your dream job, what difference does three or four days make?”
I have several things to say about this.
First. I am hunting for a job. Therefore, I am a little bit bent on practical side.
I am quite angry about how the society sees us almost postgrads, that we are less valuable than actual “members of the society.” That our time is less valuable, that the experience and education, while still limited, isn’t counted as “real”, that hiring us, no matter what kind of portfolio we present, is a liability.
*”Real World”这生词我觉得，就不该用，也许是创造这种糟糕的思考方式。中文，日语内的 “初社” 至少表达工作以前，还是做人的痛苦。
Anyway, I know I won’t think about anything else until I have a signed contract (or something to that end) in front of me. If I didn’t need to worry about housing, food, transportation cost, visa extension, et. cetera i could take all the time in the world. But I can’t, people are already asking when I’m coming back, and when I go back it will be, what are you doing now? Where are you going next?
Let’s be clear here. I want to work for this company and GET PAID. Sorry corporate, the unpaid intern thing only lasts so long. (Comany main competitor) has the model you can develop stuff in remote teams FOR FREE. For free. FOR FREE???? yeah right. I mean, sure, I’m sure I could be better at (this desired job) but is that difference really that much different? Like I heard the comparison between a 97% accurate surgeon and a 99% accurate surgeon, but I don’t think this example holds for this industry.
(I know I’m being pretty vague here, but a. I doubt you will have any idea what I’m talking about anyway, because no one seems to understand the specifics when I do explain, and b. if another future employer ever reads this, he won’t find any real dirt or people’s names.)
Anyway, I actually would probably have a lot of fun doing that, but on principle I’m refusing to go that way, also, for free=I have to find another job. So. Absolutely not. (Side rant concluded.)
Anyway, what I think I intend to express here, is that I want this particular job so badly that the prospect of even having this really strong shot at it has already drained all my adrenaline and become a soul sucking, sleep stealing, sanity shredding monster. I was eating lunch with my friend. We always talk about job hunting, (because work=life) so we’re pretty up to date with each other’s progress. And there was just this long, depressed lull in our conversation, where I had nothing to say and no energy to say anything anyway, because I’m still waiting for this guy to talk to me, and it was terrible.
Come on, person. If you’re gonna kill me, kill me all at once.