New York City’s Texan Eatery

Prompt: Explain why you’ve given this famous restaurant only one star, despite the fact that you’ve never been there.

Wildly popular with Manhattan’s group of female late Gen-X writers, Eat Pray Love appears to be nothing more than a marketing gimmick.  The food, supposedly an Indian-Italian fusion, only serves Indian appetizers and quasi-Italian desserts. Indonesian food somehow didn’t make it onto the menu, despite Indonesia being the most important part of the story. Entrees tend to be very American in style, with sandwiches, salads, hamburgers, salmon, and signature New York style pizza on the menu.  The al fresco dining area was “trying too hard to be authentic” and as such, the simple ironwork furniture and white linen napkins are ruined by the garish chair covers and uncomfortable cushions.  But the outdoor patio is a splendid sight compared to the inside, where each wall is decorated with too many cliched photos of the Taj Mahal, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, or Bali resorts.  I haven’t actually eaten here, but the interior designer is my best friend’s cousin while the chef is my second- cousin-once-removed.  Seeing as that we never see each other, I don’t feel bad leaving this restaurant with a lone star.

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